Author: Jythier
As part of a recent investigative report, I attempted to get together with a certain trader. I was unable to find his office in his gigantic store, so I decided to try to find his warehouse and meet him there. I opened the map.
There are no warehouses anywhere on The Federation map.
Where are these hidden buildings? I realized suddenly that I never actually go to my own warehouse, but only send directions to it without my ever seeing it. Products apparently disappear from stores into my warehouse with only a liter of gas gone to show for it.
A further inquiry and comparison with other known technologies found that The Federation is currently using patented Santa Claus space/time continuum software in order to condense warehouses to be the size of a thimble, including the entire factory needed to fabricate new products. This is also a possible explanation for the ‘teleporting’ goods via ship, but we leave this to other, better-informed writers such as thehopehitman2 and riser.
Each city was found to only have a single factory that handles all fabrication, meaning that their production costs are actually far lower than reported amounts. A forensic accountant’s investigation found that the factory workers, also known as elves, are skimming off at least half of the production costs to keep for themselves.
Unfortunately, we could not get the exact location of the warehouses. They are in the exact middle of each city, but we could not find them there. Either they are far underground, or floating above us where we could not reach without a hot air balloon, or helicopter.
While Santa’s workshop and the The Federations workshops will remain a mystery forever, at least we have proof they do exist. The belief of small children and grown men will keep these places alive in our hearts, even if we never see them.
The worker elves are expected to be held up by Digitalians within the trading period.