Author: Entropy
Anyone reading this should know this is a response to the article ‘Broom!’, published by Ravox.
This is the story of a young, self-respecting adventurer, trying to make his way through life. Looking for some cash, for he was a very poor, though modest man, he one day noticed an advert telling him everything about a so-called Broomrace. Picking it up, his eyes immediately turned towards the lower part of the piece of paper, because that’s where the five thousand I-shell cash price was mentioned. After drinking some beers and thus helping the economy by spending the little money he had, he decided it would be stupid not to join the Broomrace. Although people might decide a lot of things when drinking beer, one cannot deny this actually was a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Being totally sobered up, the handsome adventurer showed up at the start the next day. The competition consisted of two Virtuan citizens, two Digitalian “citizens” (because if I would call the Digitalians the way they should be called, this article was never going to reach the newspaper) and one Cyberian politician. The adventurer couldn’t help bursting into tears when he saw one of the Virtuan competitors, Samurai02, was totally dressed up like a ninja. It was only then he realized winning the race was going to be as difficult as aiming next to the toilet when peeing, which was really not difficult at all, as he had experienced the night before, just after he had finished his nineteenth beer.
The odds on his side, the young man joined the others and seconds later they enthusiastically took off. The race had only just begun when Sugarfree proved why Digitalians should not be called citizens, by taking his shotgun and starting to shoot at the ninja. The ninja immediately reacted by reflecting the bullets with his sword – my god, who the hell actually believes this crap? – , resulting in Sugarfree having to drop out of the race. It was at that point the adventurer experienced something no one can imagine.
Ravox, a Virtuan inhabitant who has been struggling all his life to lose weight, fell out of the sky hitting Centaura, our heroic adventurer. The impact was massive and it threw Centaura off his broom, knocking him unconscious. Later, Ravox covered up this story by saying Centaura was magically turned into a cow. Little did he know that I, Entropy, saw everything happening. What really happened is that Ravox dropped out of an airplane and knowing Centaura was the only participant who could defeat the Virtuan competition, he used his bodyweight to take him out.
Unfortunately, this is not where the story ends. Since the collision took place while everyone was still flying above the Valuta, it resulted in Centaura dropping into the water. Remaining unconscious, he sank to the bottom and drowned. This explains why Ravox had to cover up the story: he could not have foreseen the tragic death of such a young and beloved man.
The Virtuan hunger of supremacy, something they obviously do not deserve, has made its first casualty, causing a depth point in the history of mankind. Centaura, who has been missing for more than 4 days now, will always remain the symbol in the struggle against Virtuan boastfulness.
This was the story of a young adventurer, who is no longer amongst us. This, my dear friends, is the reason I lost the path of rightfulness. This is what made me into what I am today: a criminal, seeking my blessing in the misery of others.
May Centaura live forth in our hearts. Rest in peace.