Author: bonanza
The Miniconomy International Player Awards have come to a close today. Voting stations have barricaded the doors to prevent wild crowds from storming in to get a sneak peak at the results. Under extremely high CBI-security, the voting boxes were brought to the head office of The Miniconomist in Roebelarendsveen. A team of dedicated analysts were assisted by CBI-personnel to rule out any fraud. And so, after hours of analyzing, spilling liters of sweat and doing many recounts due to simple multiplying mistakes by martijn5, the results were known and put in sealed envelopes which were stored in a safe in Ibisha, 50 meters below ground level, where mysterious Alvarez-secrets are stored as well. When I was there and discovered a couple of them, I was pretty sure this safe was the best place to keep the MIP-results safe for a couple of hours.
Taking advantage of the last hours to make sure all was going to plan, I called the taxi company of Tuned to make sure he had enough Limcousines on standby to pick up the official MIP-Sponsors, without whom this event would be less glamorous. Tuned reassured me in person no unexpected problems would arise and he had his cars and drivers ready in each country, except for Digitalia where no-one was wealthy enough to sponsor an Award. And that’s just an assumption in case there is anyone alive at all.
My banker, gelaarsdekat1, was unhappy when I told him some of the money on my bank account would most probably disappear and I in turn was unhappy to learn he would not participate with my plan to cunningly leave the country with all the sponsors money, even when I offered him 10%. He said something about CBI and telephone tap, but I didn’t really get it.
Finally, the moment was there. I left my Roebelarendsveen office, checked the stock in my Zwollar store a last time and then took a cab to Eurodam, where the MIP-Show would take place. Upon arrival, I noticed gelaarsdekat1 helped carry big money bags out of an armored truck under the watchful eyes of 5 CBI-agents. Apparently they had raided his bank after our telephone conversation and confiscated all money on my bank account as a precaution. There was no way back now.
One after another, the official sponsors arrived by Limcousine. First, the four Cyberian sponsors arrived. Mr Geld, siemenrey, ikenco and Tresias Aegirsson wore their best suits and were escorted to their seats by my personal aid Joep Eerlijk. Next, the Ibishans arrived in a Limcousine with Rednax behind the wheel, who told me his job as mayor wasn’t enough to make ends meet at the end of each month. His impressive data center with all statistics of the last 109 rounds may consume a lot of energy that has to be paid for. Both sponsors the hawk and big stack bully alecto were assisted to their seats next to the Cyberian Sponsors. the hawk tried to convince Joep Eerlijk he was allowed to hang a huge banner over the stage with his shop address on it, but Joep Eerlijk was not having it and forced him down on his seat. Last but not least, The Virtuan cab arrived, driven by sponsor lindapinda86 herself as they couldn’t find the driver and the other sponsor was not able to drive due to the massive steel chains around his legs. Bleech looked somewhat poor in his black and white jailhouse clothes when he was assisted to his seat by two Virtuan officers.
A crowd of fervent supporters had gathered around the red carpet to watch a glimpse of the royal and presidential invitees that were due to arrive. Cyberian President Ralgon was the first to arrive in his bullet proof BMC car. He was swiftly followed by his aides and two Cyberian officers that had to protect him without any weapons, as carrying such a gun is not allowed, even for officers.
Several people in the crowd started booing when they were informed Ibishan President alecto wouldn’t appear as he already was in the room as a Sponsor. Their noise was quickly overpowered by the loud applauding and sheering when Virtuan President Tuned arrived in one of his own Limcousines. AynRand immediately started to question whether the Virtuan Government paid for this ride and thus sponsored Tuned’s car company illegally. He was about to give Nater a call to start a lawsuit but he swiftly changed his mind when Refund appeared in front of him with his gun drawn. He placed his finger on his mouth and AynRand understood the message. Even with MoonPoker dead, there’s no joking around with the Danish.
The lights of the photo camera’s started flashing big time when a motorcade of 21 vehicles, all red Farmerrari’s, arrived at the red carpet. The 11th car halted exactly in front of the entrance, when men wearing black suits jumped out of the other cars and swarmed around the central Farmerrari to protect its driver. Slowly, the doors were opened and Digitalian King Vincent – Turner stepped out of the car, wearing a long red mantle and a golden crown with several diamonds on it. Followed by several members of the Alvarez family, the King marched to the entrance while his security personnel had to restrain yelling and screaming fans from touching him. Just before he walked through the door, he turned back, winked at the crowd and then marched further to his royal lounge, leaving behind several fainted female fans.
When all officials were seated, the other citizens of the Federation were allowed to storm in and try to obtain the best possible spots to make sure they would not miss a thing. After a tumultuous one and a half hour where several people (including both extremely violent jorref and Nishant) had to be escorted out by CBI-agents after starting fights, the show could go on. Organisator bonanza walked on the stage and informed the crowd he was going to hand over all the talking to the sponsors this year “because he would talk enough when he had to collect all the Awards he would win”. Stunned by such arrogance, everyone started booing when bonanza walked off the stage and was even targeted by several thrown tomatoes, jelly pies and a single pump. Luckily for him, all hit him in the face except for the pump.
Tresias Aegirsson quickly took over the microphone and smoothened bonanza’s misstep by announcing the total prize money of the evening. Three times 5 PM-days and one full round of PM would be distributed among the winners, apart from 57,000 ISH in prize money! goudie’s eyes turned greedy.
the hawk was the second to climb on stage to make public who had won the the hawk MIP-Award for Best Trader. Still frustrated he was not nominated, he announced the nominees and potential candidates: entertje, Refund, Podje, goudie, martijn5, gelaarsdekat1 and Tuned. All faces except for Podje, who was shot and killed by MoonPoker, appeared on the giant screens in front of the audience. martijn5 seemed stressed out, as this was his single shot to amass the much needed money to make a chance to claim this rounds victory against Bossebol. “The winner of the Award is… Podje!” Federal Assistant jumped in the air. Without even trading a single piece of iron this round, he was proclaimed to be the best trader still. He ran towards the stage but his way was blocked by a ‘sunglassed’ man in black smoking who informed him about the existence of Article 1, Paragraph 1 of the IL which pretty much ruled out that the sub-account Federal Assistant could collect the prize for main account Podje. martijn5 asked Joep Eerlijk whether he would now receive part of the prize money, but unfortunately for him, that prize money would then go to the other winners of the evening.
The next award, the Mr Geld MIP-Award for Best Politician was presented by Mr Geld, who had been rooting for bonanza to win the award, but was now changing his mind in favor of Nater who seemed so modest. Apart from these two, also (Brendan), Tuned and ikenco hoped for the 5 PM-days and 5,000 ISH of prize money. “And the Award goes to… Damned, it’s bonanza.” bonanza, still dripping fresh tomato juice on the ground, crawled on the stage and protected his face with his hands to shield it from any tabasco bottles that were thrown to him. He took the microphone. “Thank you for all your votes. Please remember my name during the upcoming elections where I will be listed on the second spot on the list of…” His microphone was brutally cut off by sound engineer Rockenfeller who was told not to allow any advertisements during the show.
Bleech eagerly took over the microphone to present his sponsored Bleech MIP-Award for Best Lawyer. “The nominees for this MIP-Award of dullness are m1n1conomy, MoonPoker, bonanza, Rednax, Refund, Car-Dealertje and last but not least Joep Eerlijk. They have a chance at winning 5,000 ISH!” The crowd started shouting and rooting for m1n1conomy who had disappeared from the Federation for several rounds now. Joep Eerlijk was biting his nails and Rednax, still wearing his driver’s hat, was already studying how many hours extra this prize money would allow him to operate his data center. “The winner is once again bonanza I’m afraid.” Instead of climbing on stage, he yelled “Yeah, just send me the check. I can’t come now”, whilst trying to dip the strong tabasco out of his eyes with a towel.
Bleech quickly got on to present his second award, the Bleech MIP-Award for Best Officer. “The nominees of this honorable award and possible candidates to win 21 PM-days are Metal Alvarez (may he rest in peace), Forsties, natcha12, traag begrip and Somentus. Although Metal Alvarez got many votes, the winner of the 21 PM-days is a Cyberian officer: traag begrip! Congratulations!” traag begrip jumped out of his seat next to Cyberian President Ralgon who he was supposed to protect and ecstatically told his life story for at least half an hour. Miquel Alvarez was about to stab the Cyberian President as no-one was watching, but Virtuan officer Forsties came to the rescue and knocked down the Alvarez member with a blow of his fist. traag begrip realized he was about to get fired for leaving his President behind and quickly returned to his seat next to Ralgon to stay vigilant for the remaining of the ceremony.
Next, the four sponsors of the four national awards came forwards and each held a golden envelope with the name of the national hero in it. “Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for the national anthems that will be played during this part of the ceremony.” Mr Geld was suddenly spotlighted and the Cyberian national anthem sounded through the boxes. “The Mr Geld MIP-Award for Best Cyberian Player had 6 contestants: Rednax, justinote, gelaarsdekat1, Joep Eerlijk, ikenco and bonanza. The 10,000 ISH prize money will be split, because the two winners of this award are gelaarsdekat1 and bonanza!”
When the applause silenced down, the Virtuan national anthem could be heard. lindapinda86 announced the lindapinda86 MIP-Award for Best Virtuan Player. “The nominees are Nater, Tuned, Refund, goudie and (Brendan). The proud winner of this award will get a 10×20 squst flag of Virtua, 5 PM-days and 7,500 ISH of prize money.” Refund looked calm. He knew he had to win this award as his buddy MoonPoker had been handing out flyers to promote his nomination in the streets of Virtua and Digitalia, of which he was King for a very limited period. “The winner is Virtuan President Tuned!
The national anthem of Virtua faded away and instead the Digitalian national anthem, some sort of war mars comparable to Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries, screamed through the boxes. King Vincent – Turner, who had been sitting all the time neglecting the request to stand, now came out of his chair and laid his hand on his hart, thinking he should definitely alter the current national anthem with one referring to the great family of Alvarez. ikenco announced the nominees of the ikenco MIP-Award for Best Digitalian Player. “Metal Alvarez, sugarfree, Minimize, Marcello Alvarez and BolleTripolire. Since none of them is still alive at this point, we decided to grant the winner of this award 5 PM-days. And these PM-days go to… sugarfree!” King Vincent – Turner immediately sat down again, hiding his angry face with his mantle. Pedro Alvarez tapped on his back to condole his friend.
Then the most recent national anthem was heard. alecto, the biggest MIP-sponsor proudly announced “The winner of the alecto MIP-Award for Best Ibishan Player will receive 10,000 ISH prize money! It will honor a legendary figure of our great, though limited, history. The nominees are Metal Alvarez, The Socialist, Zoe gek wie sjek, Cheeseo, marcelbuter and TheGreat. The one that received the most votes and that introduced the Spanish language in our Federation, is generalissimo The Socialist! Congratulations!”
As the 4 previous sponsors leave the stage, Joep Eelijk takes over the microphone from them. “It’s now time for the MIP-Award for Best Federal. As the original sponsor is proclaimed dead, we were forced to ban his name from the competition. Luckily, the two nominated contestants have no need to receive any sponsor money, as they can give themselves whatever they want. It’s the epic battle between Federal Researcher, apparently the most popular Federal and Wouter, our virtual father. I’m afraid that battle was lost by Federal researcher even before it begun, but it is worth mentioning it was only with a 10 vote difference, so he can go to sleep peacefully.”
The next award is presented by siemenrey and a prize of 9,500 ISH is at stake. The big screens display the faces of entertje, bonanza, Plastic dame, AynRand, Refund and sugarfree, who were all nominated for the siemenrey MIP-Award for Most Friendly Player. Plastic dame is visibly moved to have been nominated and almost squeezes the hand of Andoversr she’s holding. siemenrey continues: “entertje and sugarfreeare sadly not among us anymore, which is why their face had to be replaced by their memorial service photo. It was AynRand that seemed to hold off bonanza from winning this award for a long time, but in the end he managed to secure the prize money as well. It does seem like someone desperately wanted to end in de top-20 and invented this whole competition to enrich himself. But nevertheless, congratulations I assume.” bonanza did not even get the time to enter the stage to collect his prize. After the wise words of siemenrey, two CBI-agents grabbed his arms and took him away for a thorough investigation.
ikenco hurried on stage to make sure the show was not disrupted by this small problem. He prepared himself to hand out the most important award of them all, the ikenco MIP-Award for Most Successful Player of All Times. “This award in particular was very close. One had the opportunity to choose for a trade guy like Podje, goudie or gelaarsdekat1 or a more political orientated selection like bonanza or marcelbuter. Or, if one prefers neither of these categories and your name includes the word ‘Alvarez’, you could select Marcello Alvarez as well. As it appears, the politicians were not popular to win this award and in the end it came down to the others, in particular gelaarsdekat1 and Podje, who already won the Trader-Award. But luckily for gelaarsdekat1, he secured his win with the four last casted votes in the competition and he will receive 10,000 ISH of prize money! Congratulations!” gelaarsdekat1 smiled heavily. Although the prize money was neglectable compared to his net value, it could mean the difference to end up in top-10 or not.
The show ended with a surprise act of the actors of the film ‘The Dead Digitalians’, featuring big stars like sugarfree, Minimize and The King 2, telling the story of the rise and fall of the great Digitalian dynasty. At the end, they looked at the royal box of King Vincent – Turner and sugarfree screamed: “Enjoy while you can. Very soon, it will be mine, my precious!” And off they went. It were the Federals who laughed this time. War means bail cards and bail cards mean credits. This could well be the real prize money of tonight.
All citizens of the Federation left the building and looked enviously to those that were allowed in the ‘gold room’, where all Premium Member days and prize money could be collected. In particular Bossebol and martijn5 checked very well no-one was given an ISH to much. A show where they didn’t win anything shouldn’t change their spot in the ranking.